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做你自己,不要刻意去取悦别人

如果我们把自己的心的主权全部交给了别人,别人就不会珍惜,并且随时有可能摧毁它。

我相信,每个人都痛恨过自己,时常有那么一瞬间,自己做出来的事情,说出来的话,连自己都不敢相信。

你是否也曾经有意无意地用“讨好的语言”来讨人喜欢过?

迎合别人的感觉,真不好!

其实,很多人都会犯这样的错,这是人之常情。

有很多女人,包括我自己,怕被人不喜欢、怕惹人闲话、怕别人看不起自己,于是会不惜一切地迎合别人,讨人喜欢,连自己的防线都可以不顾。

一味希望得到别人喜欢、追求肯定的人,会觉得筑一道守得住的自我围墙不是一件容易的事。

我有一个朋友,在外企公司工作了两年,眼看着周围的同事都高升了,自己却毫无动静,就找到一家培训公司要求学习管理技巧。培训师听了她的讲述后,首先安排了一堂别开生面的课:让自己成为一个果敢的女人!

培训师告诉她:她目前非常有必要先在自己的心中建筑一道墙,这道墙是一条防线,在这道墙之内,她是安全的,她可以不必看别人的脸色,也不必战战兢兢、害怕得罪人。当然,这道墙还有抵挡闲言碎语的作用。

上完这堂课,她开始明白:

受欢迎是件好事,但不必要时时处处受欢迎。人人喜欢、人人爱,是谁都不可能做到的。

很快,这个女孩子的“那道墙”,就让她的状况发生了改变,当她第一次向冒犯自己的同事表示强硬态度的时候,弄得对方愕然不知所措。

从此,她在职场备受礼遇。她只管做好自己的事,不再为人际关系发愁。也因注意力集中,能力出众,迅速升职。

这就是,“一堵墙造就好邻居。”

想通过一味掏心,讨好别人来获得别人同样的回报是很难的。所以我们有必要捍卫自己内心的空间,拿捏“硬”与“软”的尺度。

如果我们把自己的心的主权全权交给了别人,别人就不会珍惜,并且随时有可能摧毁它。

所以,请不要太介意别人对自己的好恶。

夸也好,贬也好,无所谓,看开些。请记住以下三点原则:

1、你有说“不”的权利。

2、你有表达意见的权利。

3、你有保持沉默的权利。这是我们每一个人必修的课题。从现在开始,我们都要开始好好修炼自己。

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